My niece, Camryn, "performed" in her first-ever dance recital this morning, though I think both "dance" and "recital" are misnomers. The kids neither danced nor did they recite; instead, they stood awkwardly on stage, sometimes waving to a mom here or a grandpa there, staring like the proverbial deer in headlights and occassionaly looking into the wings to watch their instructor desperately prompt them on--but of course to no avail. Everyone around me laughed, applauded, and oohed and aahed their approval of what they seemed to believe was a display of intrinsic cuteness but what I can only describe as incompetence. These kids sucked. Even Camryn. At least she smiled, and walked on her tip-toes; but her routine, overall, sucked. After "working" for the past two months they accomplished nothing besides forcing 200 family and friends to wake up at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning.
Oh, and one girl somehow mastered the art of simultaneously picking her nose, scratching her behind, and looking up at the ceiling--a child prodigy.
This experience was a fine contrast to last night, where I witnessed another form of "dancing" altogether: hopelessly awkward--and hopelessly hormonal--teenaged boys stood with their knees shoulder-width apart and proceeded to uncomfortably rock back and forth, as if trying to maintain balance in a canoe. Apparently it's called "grinding." It was a sorry sight indeed--but at least more entertaining than the atrocity I witnessed this morning.
Dare I say that this reminds me of a story about a little (and at the moment, curly haired) girl, who stood on stage, reciting a poem that she had practiced over, and over while a family member sat in the audience and filmed, becoming bored very quickly, prompting him to turn to the girl's sister and ask her if she "has anything more interesting to show?"
ReplyDeleteDare I also say that the --not so little-- girl may be more like that family member then she originally thought?
How old's your niece?
ReplyDelete"apparently its called grinding" aahahahaha epic ms levely. just absolutely epic.
ReplyDeleteStephen, My niece is four...and Chelse, at least I didn't tell Camryn that her recital was garbage--I just told everyone else.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you, Hina, for noticing my blatant use of sarcasm with the grinding comment. I've seen grinding--in music videos, at clubs--and that wasn't it!
Your uncle told you your poem was garbage? That's terrible!
ReplyDeleteAlthough you should've known what you were getting yourself into attending a four year old's dance recital. It's not as if a kindergartner's going to be performing the solo to Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.
Yeah, my little brother is five and a half and he gets excited when he can hop on one foot and he has to hold on to the table to spin around, never mind doing pirouettes and such.
ReplyDeleteThank you Hina for confirming that this is Ms. Lev! I wasn't part of this class, but this is too funny to ignore. This phenomena called grinding gets worse, I just hope you never witness it.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are waaaay too nice to be a jerk.
Julie Ling